Vintage Equipment Lovers Gifts

'This is not an automatic elevator, sir.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

We have a nice selection of office artifacts, a typewriter, carbon paper, ashtrays, our CEO's last handwritten memo...

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Forty-five words per minute? Impossible!

The Uses of a Stethoscope

Natural Stupidity is no match for Artificial Intelligence.

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

'I want a computing system that has a few more games programmed into it.'

'It's amazing - He can't even tell time, yet he can program the VCR.'

'I think you'll find this just as much fun as 'Grand Theft Auto IV''

Obsolete: Any piece of machinery that you bought last week for $100,000.

Redundant Technology.

"Look Zorg, an antique!"

Computer Sale.

"Business is as usual. Marginal."

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

'We can improve our response times in road services.'

An old-fashioned printer using an Albion press.

'Can I carry your computer disks to school?'

An elderly woman with a heart-shaped ear trumpet

'And this video is so simple your little son will be able to show you how to work it!'

'Walkman' 'Shuffle man'

The invention of the telephone is delayed by a dropped call.

"Ooo, great reception. Keep your hand there."

"My computer tower is so big and old, I had to rent a forklift to remove it from my home."

'It was easier when you went to school, Dad. That was before the information age.'

'We need a new TV, Dad — it's stupid watching 'Reading Rainbow' in black and white.'

'We don't use that anymore. We've installed 8-Ball software into our computers.'

Senior citizen using landline phone as a mobile

"Vinyl I get. This, I didn't see coming."

'You won't find a better system for under $20.'

'There's play, fast forward, pause and eject.'