Vintage Equipment Gifts

'I didn't get all that stuff after 'Dear Sir'.'

'Where's the starter?'

Iconic dog hearing sound of vinyl record with his paw scratching it.

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"There's more inside."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Pre-Television Man Caves

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"There's lots of things in my life I absolutely needed to put in, and now there's lots of things in my life I absolutely need to get out."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

"Go ahead and laugh, but this baby hasn't crashed since 1961."

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

"Can't fix the WiFi? How times flies! Seems only yesterday you couldn't program the VCR!"

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

Scales

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

"I just don't know what we'd have done without our subscription these past 25 years."

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good things Dad kept them!"

"I wonder what this was for."

Obsolete: Any piece of machinery that you bought last week for $100,000.

Pre-Bay

Dog stares into gramophone player. Young kid says: 'I'm guessing it's some kind of dog-food dispenser.'

Mangle

'And of course if you'e feeling patriotic today, we have here a new line of PCs produced by the federal government.'

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

'This is a painting of your grandfather.'