Vintage Tools Gifts

"I'd say old school crime. None of your high tech methods here."

"We pride ourselves on being a technologically aware company. Our Mr. Jenks here, is an absolute whizz with an abacus."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"There's more inside."

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Pre-Television Man Caves

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

"There's lots of things in my life I absolutely needed to put in, and now there's lots of things in my life I absolutely need to get out."

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

The Uses of a Stethoscope

Old-fashioned computer

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

Acme Slide Rules: 'We'll be here and ready, when the current electronic gadgetry fad fades!'

Classic Halftime Shows (Super Bowl III)

Scales

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

"I just don't know what we'd have done without our subscription these past 25 years."

"I wonder what this was for."

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good things Dad kept them!"

'Another invention? -- You are SUCH a geek!'

Pre-Bay

Mangle

Dog stares into gramophone player. Young kid says: 'I'm guessing it's some kind of dog-food dispenser.'

"In my day, we had grand pianos randomly fall from the sky!"

'It's like listening to the 1950s. You can hear the dentures whistling.'

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

An old-fashioned printer using an Albion press.

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.

An elderly woman with a heart-shaped ear trumpet