Vintage Technology Gifts

'If this ever stops running, just smack it here a bunch of times and it should start right up.'

'No doubt about it-his hearing's getting worse.'

Easter Island Heads with Camcorder.

"I was into revolutions. That's one of my 45s and here's a 33 and a 1/3."

'We're all having to work harder in the music business now.' (Dog stressed as he listens to four gramophones.)

'OK operator if it ain't 5000 try Pensylvania 65001.'

'For the last time NO, I do not wish to upgrade my phone!'

'And of course if you'e feeling patriotic today, we have here a new line of PCs produced by the federal government.'

"I hate cellphones. You can't slam them down dramatically after an irate phone call."

'I told him not to touch that dial.'

Downloading.

'Say pal,how d'you flush these things?'

'It was great! I learned how to use dial telephones, drive a standard transmission and cook without a microwave!'

Honey, I think it's now time to buy a colour TV. John McCain for president.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'W-R-O-N-G Voltagggeeee for a vintage machine like myself.'

"I have to hang up because someone wants to use a phone."

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

'Richard's very stubborn.'

What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games.

Endangered Species

'I'm staying in tonight to watch the footie and I hope there's an interactive button to smash up the telly afterwards!'

'I'm transferring all my wax cylinders to 78's.'

"Yes, I'm on my mobile phone."

Implied sex between a pencil and a cassette tape

"This is a test. This is only a test. Question #1..."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Gramophone Headphone

A token record...

"Stop telling me I'm out of touch, you sound like a broken record"

"Did you get a gift receipt with my new mobile phone?"

"'Dancing Queen' MY WOTSIT! Fiddle with your own cassette!"

Telephone Box

'Hello, ACME Exterminators,,, ,,,Hello'

"Thank you very much, but I'm more than satisfied with my present long-distance carrier."