Vacation Satirist Gifts

". . . And if we all look to our left, we can see exactly what we saw an hour ago."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked."

Public footpath on a desert island.

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

"A large donation usually calms him down."

"Did you get some work done?"

Swearing and fighting in a caravan

'Welcome to 'Business class'...'

'Are we broke yet?'

"The whole thing's much smaller than it seemed on TV."

Bed of Nails on Holiday

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

"Defending you isn't going to be easy. . . Sana actually started an 'Extremely cruel, stupid and psychotic kid' list especially for you."

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"Actually, take us to your gift shop first."

"Well, they did say half-board."

'...Then we thought, stuff Christmas, the world is full of naughty brats anyway.'

'I'm the ghost of non-sectarian midwinter public holiday future.'

Dad helping to build sand castle while tent remains un-erected.

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

'Santa's blotto.'