Tourism Satirist Gifts

"A large donation usually calms him down."

"The whole thing's much smaller than it seemed on TV."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"My guess it's guacamole."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Public footpath on a desert island.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

You are now leaving Everything..."Well, now I've seen everything."

The leaning tower of Pizza.

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

Biliard Enthusiast

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'