Tourism Humorist Gifts

The summer the people depart, and life on Monster Island resumes its leisurely pace.

The Gettysburg Ad Dress

Welcome to Yompburg...home of the world's largest toxic waste dump; 'Wow! The Chamber of Commerce is working overtime here!'

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

Carefree luggage.

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

Camping holidays in the British summer.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"My guess it's guacamole."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Limerick Airport

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Can I have a look at the map?

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

"That reminds me. . . did you remember to pack the viagra?"

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.