Traveler Humorists Gifts

Crown Travel: 'That's 'Crown Travel', but that's okay- we deal with clowns everyday.'

Carefree luggage.

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Transylvanian backpackers.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

Camping holidays in the British summer.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"My guess it's guacamole."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"That reminds me. . . did you remember to pack the viagra?"

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

Biliard Enthusiast

'Straight on, you can't miss it.'

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'