Humorist Traveler Gifts

"We'd like to go somewhere that will provide us with a rich source of after dinner anecdotes!"

Search: How to build a crude parachute.

'Oh look! We must be coming into land at Heathrow.'

'It's a surprise for my husband, he isn't going.'

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Transylvanian backpackers.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

Camping holidays in the British summer.

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

"That reminds me. . . did you remember to pack the viagra?"

The leaning tower of Pizza.

Biliard Enthusiast