Traveling Humorist Gifts

'One carry-on!'

"I'm migratory, Henrietta, not flighty."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Bob's Driving School.

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"My guess it's guacamole."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"That reminds me. . . did you remember to pack the viagra?"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

The leaning tower of Pizza.

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

Biliard Enthusiast

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'