Travel Humourist Gifts

'Yes,I know this isn't a nudist beach but my luggage is still at Heathrow!'

Carefree luggage.

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"My guess it's guacamole."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Limerick Airport

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"That reminds me. . . did you remember to pack the viagra?"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Can I have a look at the map?

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.