Comedian Traveler Gifts

Jenny inadvertently set off the plane's emergency oxygen masks.

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Transylvanian backpackers.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"That reminds me. . . did you remember to pack the viagra?"

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Biliard Enthusiast

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"