Comical Traveler Gifts

"I'd like to go somewhere with warm water, balmy breezes and no extradition treaty."

"Well, they did say half-board."

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Carefree luggage.

Transylvanian backpackers.

Airport Security.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Tourists in Egypt

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

Camping holidays in the British summer.

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"That reminds me. . . did you remember to pack the viagra?"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"Enjoy your stay at the Bat Hotel. Breakfast is at 7 a.m. The guano bucket is down the hall and to the left."

Steve found himself on his travels.

"How can we get away from it all if you're bringing it all with you?"

"You have arrived at your destination."

"All the other passengers have collected and gone so well just have to admit they're ours!"

Touring Holidays - On the P***

"The next time you have an 'emergency', have it on the roof like every other self-respecting bird!"

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

'It's a surprise for my husband, he isn't going.'

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

Laughing Ahead 1 Mile

"I get it...you went south for the winter. Now, don't you think it's time to ditch the shirt?"

"Oh, bugger!"

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

Maps to the house arrests of the stars

'Oh look! We must be coming into land at Heathrow.'

'I hope i did leave the faucet running so the water will put out the fire from the stove I left on.'

The only way to get a rain free British holiday is to camp above the clouds.