Comedian Travelers Gifts

'All we have for Paris is a flight that makes a detour over Iran. It's a drone.'

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Transylvanian backpackers.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

Camping holidays in the British summer.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Biliard Enthusiast

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'