Comedian Travelers T-Shirts

'All we have for Paris is a flight that makes a detour over Iran. It's a drone.'

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Transylvanian backpackers.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"My guess it's guacamole."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

Biliard Enthusiast

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"