Travel Comedian T-Shirts

"And keep your eyes peeled for tobacco smugglers."

"I get it...you went south for the winter. Now, don't you think it's time to ditch the shirt?"

A turkey on a baggage carousel

DON'T TOUCH MY JUNK!

'Entering Pinestock - a case of the terminal cutes.'

'My travel agent sent me here...over a hot check I gave her.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

The leaning tower of Pizza.

Biliard Enthusiast

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'