Beach Satirist Gifts

'You! Shame on you!'

Chicken soup for the sole.

Brighton Bersagliere.

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Mankini - One size fits all.

'I think its being tapped.'

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

Bed of Nails on Holiday

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

Why do men wear long short pants?

'That's what I call riding the barrel!'

Tsunami Selfie

'Is this the way to the beach?'

'I am wearing my bikini!'

'This is totally bananas!'

I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our caf

'There goes Tokyo.'

The Domestic Violence Workshop Commences At 2:30.

". . . And if we all look to our left, we can see exactly what we saw an hour ago."

Surfing the Brown Water.

"Of course it's not safe. That's why I'm here."

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

"May I recommend Deborah, she has a perfect blend of Merlot and chocolate."

"I see you're still lacking in confidence!"

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

Icarus, you are not flying anywhere until you put on some sunscreen!

'Up periscope!'

Dead mermaid