Surfing Satirist Gifts

Surfing the Brown Water.

'That's what I call riding the barrel!'

"The Americans must be at the end of their tether. They're sending in Californian Surf Nazis!"

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Suburban street.

'We've been lucky - sometimes you can be out here the whole day and fail to see a single boat!'

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

'After paying for the boat, it's insurance, the docking and gas, I couldn't afford a trailer.'

Sales chart shows sales going downhill.

"There's nothing wrong with the ship. We just got a better offer."

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

"Nothing makes me feel so old as having to scroll down and down to find my year of birth."

'This is totally bananas!'

"Serf's up"

Woman windsurfer wearing a sombrero.

Another Disappointment for Captain Ahab

GREENLAND

'I am wearing my bikini!'

'Things have been pretty quiet around here since the capt'n got into online piracy.'

'I'm going to give you a prescription for your walking pneumonia...Take one pill every three miles.'

Porters carry a sedan chair up a ski slope

'Ramming speed sailor.'

The Domestic Violence Workshop Commences At 2:30.

"Three Morons At Sea."

Agricultural Skier

'At $87,000, I'd say this comes from the artist's I'm-milking-this-for-all-I-can Period.'

"May I recommend Deborah, she has a perfect blend of Merlot and chocolate."