Satire Surfers Gifts

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"I have no thumbs."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Everybody gets a raise."

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Pope tarts.

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

Illogic Tree

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

How I Spent My Summer Vacation: Page One

Los Angeles' New Smart Meters

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Nice park. . .

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'Would it be cruelly ironic to shape our new cholesterol medication like little eggs?'

'And here's the toolkit.'

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

Donald Glover

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

'YAY! PATE!'

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

We can safely tell the Grand Jury your campaign money isn't soft, it's al dente.