Satire Surfers Gifts

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"I have no thumbs."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Everybody gets a raise."

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

Illogic Tree

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

How I Spent My Summer Vacation: Page One

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

'Would it be cruelly ironic to shape our new cholesterol medication like little eggs?'

'YAY! PATE!'

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

'And here's the toolkit.'

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

Nice park. . .

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

We can safely tell the Grand Jury your campaign money isn't soft, it's al dente.

"Et tu, Killbot 9000?"