Surf Satirist Gifts

"I see you're still lacking in confidence!"

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Chicken soup for the sole.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Suburban street.

'We've been lucky - sometimes you can be out here the whole day and fail to see a single boat!'

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

Sorry, pal, no - there's no rest stop for the wicked.

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

'After paying for the boat, it's insurance, the docking and gas, I couldn't afford a trailer.'

Sales chart shows sales going downhill.

"There's nothing wrong with the ship. We just got a better offer."

"Nothing makes me feel so old as having to scroll down and down to find my year of birth."

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

Another Disappointment for Captain Ahab

'I am wearing my bikini!'

'This is totally bananas!'

'That's what I call riding the barrel!'

"Serf's up"

Woman windsurfer wearing a sombrero.

Porters carry a sedan chair up a ski slope

'I'm going to give you a prescription for your walking pneumonia...Take one pill every three miles.'

The Domestic Violence Workshop Commences At 2:30.

Surfing the Brown Water.

"Three Morons At Sea."

Agricultural Skier

'At $87,000, I'd say this comes from the artist's I'm-milking-this-for-all-I-can Period.'

'Up periscope!'

Superdome: Now Playing Har Bowl.

'The dominant buck and the alpha wold meet at midfield for the coin toss and this hunt is about to get under way.'

Tide-l Wave.

"I think he could be the real thing - he's walking on the water!"