Sea-loving Satirist Gifts

Commercial Fisheries News

Turtle Hat

'Luxury cruise you said!'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

Chicken soup for the sole.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Shark food pyramid.

Edna, I fear our love doesn't have a future... My parents would eat you!

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"You can find me on Inkedin."

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

'It is truly embrarrassing Doc: I faint at the sight of blood... Can you help me?'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

'Rest assured, your fear of harpoons is anything but irrational.'

'This guy is recording our singing, but I can't see us getting royalties any time soon...'

Woman painting a man drowning.

Jelly Fish

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

'After paying for the boat, it's insurance, the docking and gas, I couldn't afford a trailer.'

"There's nothing wrong with the ship. We just got a better offer."

'I'm not sure Dad, but I think I wet the bed.'

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

"I get it...you went south for the winter. Now, don't you think it's time to ditch the shirt?"

Orca-nized crime - 'I want you to find Finny Dorsalni and make him sleep with the humans.'

Cocaine discovered in British marine life. . . Shrimp Coketail

'I am wearing my bikini!'

"Dad, at school today, they've asked me if the penfish is mightier than the swordfish. Is it?"

"Simply put, our 'Nostalgia Special' is the 'Catch' of yesterday."

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

Another Disappointment for Captain Ahab

'Hello, my name is Sam. Come to this watering hole very often?'