Sea-life Satirist Gifts

Chicken soup for the sole.

Turtle Hat

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

Did you find our menorah?

Edna, I fear our love doesn't have a future... My parents would eat you!

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'Little is known about these amazing creatures, as there have only been a few live sightings, by giant squid scientists. Despite previous beliefs, they are actually a land animal, as the fins and respiratory system are removable.'

"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

"Oh my gosh babe! These cute little otters want us to play with them."

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

Woman painting a man drowning.

"Don't put me back! I'm trying to evolve legs here!"

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

"Oh, but it's fine for you to hang out where I eat."

'After paying for the boat, it's insurance, the docking and gas, I couldn't afford a trailer.'

"There's nothing wrong with the ship. We just got a better offer."

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

'I want you to go give those Herrings a warning to stay off our turf... leave this packet of chips on their doorstep.'

"Just ignore them. They're summer people."

Another Disappointment for Captain Ahab

Ok, who told him to stick his tongue on the iceberg?

"I've been thinking about getting a snail."

"Simply put, our 'Nostalgia Special' is the 'Catch' of yesterday."

Cocaine discovered in British marine life. . . Shrimp Coketail

Fisherman catches a mine.

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

'No swordfish were harmed in the catching of our tuna, and no tuna were harmed in the catching of our swordfish.'

Whale Whale Whale.

'Ramming speed sailor.'

"How weird is it?"