Sea Humor Aficionado Gifts

'Listen, yes, I'm an hermit, but a simple Hermit-Crab: I do not answer philosophical questions!'

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

Prawn Shop

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"How long can you stay out here before your toes wrinkle?"

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"Isn't it obvious how he got the job? He 'suctioned' up."

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

"She's sinking alright, Captain. Even the rats are wearing life jackets!"

"Fear of getting caught is understandable, but I think your fear of water requires pharmaceutical intervention."

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

"Good. I was hoping for someone who could talk under water!"

Fisherman catches a mine.

'I wonder if it was such a good idea to outsource all the staff?'

"You son of a b***h! I know where thos ebubbles are coming from!"

Fish "Hey Kid, got a light?"

'Petty Officer why does Jenkins keep shouting 'ice cream' from the lookout? Is he drunk? Put him on a charge when he comes down.'

"After the life he's had, he just said 'What the hell'..."

"Oh, don't get all defensive at me!"