Sea Humor Aficionado Gifts

'Listen, yes, I'm an hermit, but a simple Hermit-Crab: I do not answer philosophical questions!'

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"

"How long can you stay out here before your toes wrinkle?"

Prawn Shop

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"Isn't it obvious how he got the job? He 'suctioned' up."

"She's sinking alright, Captain. Even the rats are wearing life jackets!"

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

"Fear of getting caught is understandable, but I think your fear of water requires pharmaceutical intervention."

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

The evolution of synchronizes swimmers.

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

The guardrail brings it up to code.

Fisherman catches a mine.

"Good. I was hoping for someone who could talk under water!"

"You son of a b***h! I know where thos ebubbles are coming from!"

"After the life he's had, he just said 'What the hell'..."

School Crossing

I know, right? You eat five million plankton, and the last one is ALSWAYS as bad one.

"Oh, don't get all defensive at me!"

'Petty Officer why does Jenkins keep shouting 'ice cream' from the lookout? Is he drunk? Put him on a charge when he comes down.'