Sea Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Fish Eye Tests.

"Dang. . . everyehere you meet cargo ships jammed in front of the North Sea Ports!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"

"How long can you stay out here before your toes wrinkle?"

Prawn Shop

"Isn't it obvious how he got the job? He 'suctioned' up."

Clam

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

"Fear of getting caught is understandable, but I think your fear of water requires pharmaceutical intervention."

"She's sinking alright, Captain. Even the rats are wearing life jackets!"

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

The evolution of synchronizes swimmers.

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

Fisherman catches a mine.

"Good. I was hoping for someone who could talk under water!"

"You son of a b***h! I know where thos ebubbles are coming from!"

"Oh, don't get all defensive at me!"

School Crossing

I know, right? You eat five million plankton, and the last one is ALSWAYS as bad one.

Fish "Hey Kid, got a light?"

'I hate these school reunions.'

Pants on the mast

'You been sleep walking again?'

"Oh, great... they say they all have headaches."

"Put that away. You know there's no texting in school."

"Offishial business, ma'am."