Sea Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"

"It's been over for a while now. I caught him trying to fertilize some catfish eggs in June."

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

"Isn't it obvious how he got the job? He 'suctioned' up."

"She's sinking alright, Captain. Even the rats are wearing life jackets!"

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

"She's definitely had work done on her tail."

"Dang. . . everyehere you meet cargo ships jammed in front of the North Sea Ports!"

Fisherman catches a mine.

'I hate these school reunions.'

"But I can't help it if I smell 'Fishy'!"

School Crossing

'Long periods of inactivity are not good for a pirate like you, Cap'n. You're taking root.'

"Wow, that was some fart!"

Pirate Doctor

'The least of your worries in this school is a bully will take your lunch money.'

"You may think you look cool, but can you actually breathe properly with that stupid cap on?"

Full use should be made of sea objects put there for your convenience.

'Do you have any other identification?'

"How weird is it?"

"If you can hold it for another minute, I think I see some land."

'Listen, yes, I'm an hermit, but a simple Hermit-Crab: I do not answer philosophical questions!'

'You been sleep walking again?'

Fish Eye Tests.

'I'm divorcing you...and I want custody of the squids.'

I can't stand it when they double park!

'Oh sure...I'm on a diet and you want to go on a feeding frenzy!'