Nautical Humor Aficionado Gifts

'Lucky bastard, captured by the only dyslexic pirate on the seas.'

"Aye, he's big on talk about prepare to be boarded and shivering me timbers, but let me tell ye that without an 'X' to mark the spot he doesn't know his way around the harbour."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Recalculating

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Walking the Plank.

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Man painting MOM on boat

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'We're drifting apart.'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

Fish near-death experiences.