Nautical Humor Lover Gifts

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'The guys all chipped in Doug and got you a window seat for your birthday.'

'Garrhh, Cap'n, it's health and safety gone mad.'

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

"We aim to make every event on this cruise pleasurable, sir!" (lifebuoy with duck head on it).

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

'It figures- we picked the life raft without the sheep-to-shore radio...'

Barnacle Bob suddenly realized the plank was the only part of the ship to survive the rogue wave.

"We haven't left port yet you dozy old duffer!"

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'WHIPLASH!'

'Check it out dude! Our first groupie!'

"Reverse Course! Mayday! Mayday!"

'It all went downhill from when my dad took me to see the Rabbi!'

'Avast ye swabs!'

"The captain is working remote today."

' You'll have to come see my weekend place in Cornwall.'

They won't be speeding past THIS moored boat!

"Aye captain, a strange one and no mistake, but he'll be sorely missed by the lads!"

'The Coast Guard? Nah, call Guinness first - this is going to make the biggest mimosa of all time.'

'Petty Officer why does Jenkins keep shouting 'ice cream' from the lookout? Is he drunk? Put him on a charge when he comes down.'

Pirate: 'No No No,you BLITHERING Dunderheads! We do that AT Sea!!'

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

The Goldilocks Sail Emporium

"Believe me lad, it's as clear as day in the Sailor's Handbook. The cabin boy always goes down with the ship!"

"Thar she blows, Cap'n. Room seven."

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"Hurry, hide the grog - we're being pulled over."

"After the life he's had, he just said 'What the hell'..."

"No, no, no! Walk the plank!!"

"At least his Napoleon complex has settled down."

The guardrail brings it up to code.

That's my bra, you old fool.

"All in favor of continuing on to any island other than this one, please whisper, 'Aye.'"

"Hold on lads, I think we're on the wrong chest."