Nautical Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'This is no time to be washing your hair,Margaret!'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

Pants on the mast

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

'She's so stern.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

"Should we tell the captain about that approaching enemy ship?"

"Can you get a bit off - the last three ships you did went down head first."

'The cheek of that captain inviting us to sit at his BEDSIDE table!'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'Ramming speed sailor.'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'My case flow was coming along fine, and then I CAPSIZED.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Walking the Plank.

Man painting MOM on boat

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.