Nautical Humor Lovers Gifts

"If you can hold it for another minute, I think I see some land."

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

Yeah, well, hindsight is 20/0.

'Long periods of inactivity are not good for a pirate like you, Cap'n. You're taking root.'

'Do you have any other identification?'

'You dunderheaded swab, I said find me any empty Galleon.'

Spiro & Pusho and the crabs from the basin.

Pirate Doctor

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Walking the Plank.

Man painting MOM on boat

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'We're drifting apart.'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"