Nautical Humor Fans Gifts

"So we're agreed-whoever picks the short straw has to cold-call potential donors and try to raise enough money for some food."

"Thank heavens I saved my teddy bear... he brings me good luck."

"Gosh and I thought it was a barbershop."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

Walking the Plank.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Man painting MOM on boat

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'We're drifting apart.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

Fish near-death experiences.

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'