Nautical Humor Buff Gifts

Lost at Sea Postcard

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

Walking the Plank.

Man painting MOM on boat

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'We're drifting apart.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

Fish near-death experiences.

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"