Nautical Humor Fan Gifts

"It's mostly water weight."

'I just think it might be a bit too jolly for the captain's taste.'

I think the Captain is getting a bit soft in his old age!

No-one messed with the Crays.

'Yeah. . . but it really helped me quit smoking.'

"The captain tempers justice with mercy."

101 uses of a dead cat: lifejacket

"Stop repeating everything I say birdbrain!"

"We have a potential client here in the lobby who is a sailor and and they're wondering if we do 'aye-aye' exams."

"Capsize"

'It's a U-boat...on a key chain.'

I've put a lot of myself into this business...

'I'd give an arm and a leg to get my other arm and leg back.'

Man Holding Up Boat Showroom.

"Now are ye ready?"

"A bit too much of a lazy, hearty, breakfast - eh, Cap'n?"

"Rats, we can't bow ride this one: it's a hovercraft..."

'I don't know why, but suddenly I have a craving for SALTWATER TAFFY.'

'I bought my peg - leg from a gypsy.'

Interesting - Bob said the ship was sinking, yet Bob's the only one not here.

Yeah, I probably should have gotten a parrot, too.

"Aye. We must be in the doldrums."

"Can I call you back? I'm going down with the ship."

"Seriously, Mittens, let's let this one go."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Ticket and passport, please."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."