Nautical Humor Fan Pillows

"It's mostly water weight."

'I just think it might be a bit too jolly for the captain's taste.'

I think the Captain is getting a bit soft in his old age!

No-one messed with the Crays.

'Yeah. . . but it really helped me quit smoking.'

"The captain tempers justice with mercy."

101 uses of a dead cat: lifejacket

"We have a potential client here in the lobby who is a sailor and and they're wondering if we do 'aye-aye' exams."

"Capsize"

'It's a U-boat...on a key chain.'

I've put a lot of myself into this business...

'I'd give an arm and a leg to get my other arm and leg back.'

Man Holding Up Boat Showroom.

"Now are ye ready?"

"A bit too much of a lazy, hearty, breakfast - eh, Cap'n?"

"Rats, we can't bow ride this one: it's a hovercraft..."

'I don't know why, but suddenly I have a craving for SALTWATER TAFFY.'

'I bought my peg - leg from a gypsy.'

"Aye. We must be in the doldrums."

"Can I call you back? I'm going down with the ship."

"Seriously, Mittens, let's let this one go."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."