Nautical Comedy Fan Pillows

'He overslept.'

"I don't know, I thought he was with you!"

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"Ticket and passport, please."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'I told you we should have unionized.'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

'I told you to keep the rice in a plastic bag.'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

The guardrail brings it up to code.

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"

'For heaven's sake; Mrs Van Rensselaer, let go!'

'I just think it might be a bit too jolly for the captain's taste.'

"Has anyone fed the goldfish?"

"After the life he's had, he just said 'What the hell'..."

'Petty Officer why does Jenkins keep shouting 'ice cream' from the lookout? Is he drunk? Put him on a charge when he comes down.'

'I wonder if it was such a good idea to outsource all the staff?'

"Rats, we can't bow ride this one: it's a hovercraft..."

"Stop repeating everything I say birdbrain!"

'Long periods of inactivity are not good for a pirate like you, Cap'n. You're taking root.'

"Seriously, Mittens, let's let this one go."

Yeah, well, hindsight is 20/0.

' You'll have to come see my weekend place in Cornwall.'

"Serious drinkers recommend hanging on to the maraschino."