Lover Of Nautical Humor Pillows

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

Man painting MOM on boat

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Walking the Plank.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'We're drifting apart.'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Fish near-death experiences.

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'