Lover Of Nautical Humor Pillows

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

Man painting MOM on boat

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Walking the Plank.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'We're drifting apart.'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

'I told you we should have unionized.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Fish near-death experiences.

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"