Nautical Humor Appreciator Pillows

"You've taken some creative liberties, Noah."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Ticket and passport, please."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

Walking the Plank.

Man painting MOM on boat

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'We're drifting apart.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

Fish near-death experiences.

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"