Nautical Joke Fan Gifts

"Serious drinkers recommend hanging on to the maraschino."

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Fishing from the Pier

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Early design for the Two-Man Kayak.

'I told you we should have unionized.'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

The Nor'easter Bunny.

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"That one's for higher-skilled plank walkers."

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"You're goin' up the river, Sammy."

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

Introducing: Eye-Quit. The Nicotine Patch for Pirates...

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"

Whale Pattern Balding

'I just got back form a class reunion!'

The guardrail brings it up to code.

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

Hunting the elusive balloon whale.

'I just think it might be a bit too jolly for the captain's taste.'

"Rats, we can't bow ride this one: it's a hovercraft..."

School Crossing