Sailing Joke Fan Gifts

Rock the boat.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

Early design for the Two-Man Kayak.

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'It's great to get away from the rat race!'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

Oceanographer

"You're goin' up the river, Sammy."

Angry pirate looking at angry parrot (wearing diaper) on his shoulder.

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

Overweight Passenger on a Boat

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

Whale Pattern Balding

'I just got back form a class reunion!'

'After paying for the boat, it's insurance, the docking and gas, I couldn't afford a trailer.'

'I just think it might be a bit too jolly for the captain's taste.'

'I think it's A pep rally to promote school spirit.'

"Gosh and I thought it was a barbershop."

"Hi! I'm Greg Holbrook, born in L.A., now live in Stamford with my wife and three kids, went to school at Exeter, graduated Yale '38, did a two-year hitch in the Navy, now write copy for McCann-Erickson, my hobbies are tennis and sailing. Who are you and what do you do?"

A Jack Tar

"Rats, we can't bow ride this one: it's a hovercraft..."

"Seriously, Mittens, let's let this one go."

'I guess the drinks are watered down!'

"Serious drinkers recommend hanging on to the maraschino."

Pants on the mast

Sea song.