Sailing Humor Lover Gifts

"I yam what I yam an' tha's all I yam!' What the hell kind of resume is that."

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"She's sinking alright, Captain. Even the rats are wearing life jackets!"

Angry pirate looking at angry parrot (wearing diaper) on his shoulder.

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

The guardrail brings it up to code.

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

"You've taken some creative liberties, Noah."

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"

'After paying for the boat, it's insurance, the docking and gas, I couldn't afford a trailer.'

'I just think it might be a bit too jolly for the captain's taste.'

"After the life he's had, he just said 'What the hell'..."

"Stop repeating everything I say birdbrain!"

"Rats, we can't bow ride this one: it's a hovercraft..."

A Jack Tar

'Petty Officer why does Jenkins keep shouting 'ice cream' from the lookout? Is he drunk? Put him on a charge when he comes down.'