Sailing Humorist Gifts

Angry pirate looking at angry parrot (wearing diaper) on his shoulder.

Titanic has sign that reads 'How's my driving?'

'They carry junk mail.'

A yacht being followed by sharks.

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

Plugged progress

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Japanese Whaling

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Ticket and passport, please."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Walking the Plank.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Man painting MOM on boat

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'We're drifting apart.'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'