Seafaring Humorist Gifts

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Defense Contractor, Inc. Research and Development. It's a portable bathroom for navy ships. Heads will roll!

'Help.'

"Arrh, 'e be leaving 'is monocle on tha sill again..."

"Mirror, mirror shinning bright who is the handsomest Captain in sight?"

Right way

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Japanese Whaling

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Walking the Plank.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Man painting MOM on boat

'I told you we should have unionized.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"