Seafaring Humorist Gifts

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'Help.'

"Arrh, 'e be leaving 'is monocle on tha sill again..."

"Mirror, mirror shinning bright who is the handsomest Captain in sight?"

Right way

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Japanese Whaling

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Walking the Plank.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Man painting MOM on boat

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'We're drifting apart.'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

Fish near-death experiences.