Seafarer Humorist Gifts

Angry pirate looking at angry parrot (wearing diaper) on his shoulder.

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Japanese Whaling

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

Carp, per diem.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

Walking the Plank.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Man painting MOM on boat

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'We're drifting apart.'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

Fish near-death experiences.

Wild and crazy salmon

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

'I got one this small.'