Seafarer Humorist Gifts

Angry pirate looking at angry parrot (wearing diaper) on his shoulder.

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Japanese Whaling

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

Carp, per diem.

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Man painting MOM on boat

Walking the Plank.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'We're drifting apart.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Fish near-death experiences.

'I got one this small.'

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"