Seafaring Humorists Gifts

You're stopping me for sailing & drinking? No sweat. I can swim in a strait line!

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Japanese Whaling

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Walking the Plank.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

Man painting MOM on boat

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Fish near-death experiences.

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

"Ah, sweatpants."

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

'Thank goodness you're here!'

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.