Seafaring Humorists Gifts

You're stopping me for sailing & drinking? No sweat. I can swim in a strait line!

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Japanese Whaling

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Man painting MOM on boat

Walking the Plank.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

Fish near-death experiences.

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

Only Percy seemed happy that the Titanic was taking on water.

'Thank goodness you're here!'