Maritime Humorists Gifts

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

Rescuers Arrive too late at the Desert Island.

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Japanese Whaling

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Man painting MOM on boat

Walking the Plank.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'We're drifting apart.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Fish near-death experiences.

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

'I got one this small.'

So, how are you planning on eating that?

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

"Ah, sweatpants."

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'