Maritime Humorist Gifts

"I think Ted's keel's snapped off"

'Forgive me for asking, Captain, but shouldn't you have gone down with the ship?'

Naked sailor holding a water filled barrel around his waist

'We've got to cut the rope. The anchor is caught on something.'

Man overboard!

Only Percy seemed happy that the Titanic was taking on water.

'It won't open? Try hitting it with a new ocean liner.'

A pirate seeing boots and sticks for his legs at a shoestore.

'Duty calls madam, a little matter of going down with my ship.'

A wolf in ship's clothing.

'In the good old days yes, but forget about following cruise ships these days: The likelyhood of a sinking is very very low...'

'No swordfish were harmed in the catching of our tuna, and no tuna were harmed in the catching of our swordfish.'

'I was just trying to dry some towels, sorry if I insulted you.'

'Thank goodness you're here!'

He loved a sea very much

How's My Sailing?

"Gesundheit!"

"In 1,500 miles, float left, and your destination will be on your right."

So, what can you see?

April 20: The weather continues sunny and warm.

'Sailors keep giving me frilly knickers and garters.'

Flotsam and Jetson

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

Wooden ship with a wooden anchor

"What's the limit on these things?"

A Sheepwrecked island.

Japanese Whaling

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

"Anchored on the far side, we have the oldest ship in the fleet."

"Back the main sheet and brace the futtocks - whatever that means."

"Ah, sweatpants."

"Look, salsa! This explains why the captain brought tortilla chips."

"First time paddleboarding?"

"Wait, they might be lawyers!"

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'