Marine Humorist Gifts

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

'I got one this small.'

'Well, we've been under a lot of pressure lately.'

"This spring break let's go hit the beach."

Starfish have no brains.

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"I changed to gas." ( Electric eel producing bubbles)

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Actually, people have trouble accepting me in this job!'

Fingerlings.

"Now remember if we do meet a shark, a sharp rap on his nose....

'Now tell him about our one million kids-he's starting to weaken.'

"Don't worry about it lad, that poison pen letter you received from that sardine is probably just a bluff"

'I didn't know he was a smoker.'

White whale acting black

"Oh boy, that's no fireworks, it's a distress flare! Let's go and investigate. . ."

"I thought you went vegan."

A sailor cleaning a portholes,

'Hey, Chuck, check out Sam and that ridiculous cod piece.'

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"Apparently they had some sort of technical issue right from the start."

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

'I'm still a bit hungry: I don't think I've had more than four tons of krill this morning...'

So, how are you planning on eating that?

"Oh Grandpa, you may be too old to zap prey, but you still have a spark in your eye..."

"I live in dread of being mistaken for an undersea energy cable."

"Another impulse purchase?"

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"Damn. Isn't that the kid you swallowed?"

"I went with the flow and wound up in the French quarter."

"Why is it so wet?"