Marine Humorists Gifts

"It's wet, but it's a dry wet."

"Now Harold, you know those always give you heartburn."

'We just followed you, you're supposed to have the sat nav system.'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Japanese Whaling

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Man painting MOM on boat

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Walking the Plank.

'Little is known about these amazing creatures, as there have only been a few live sightings, by giant squid scientists. Despite previous beliefs, they are actually a land animal, as the fins and respiratory system are removable.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'We're drifting apart.'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"

Fish near-death experiences.

'I got one this small.'

So, how are you planning on eating that?

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.