Maritime Humor Lover Gifts

'They're sure not making Champagne bottles the way they used to.'

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

"Let's just agree that they're dolphins, not sharks. I don't want to fall out with you."

'My husband must be floating on his back - I can hear him snoring!'

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

Japanese Whaling

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

Victorian Royal Navy

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

'Thank goodness you're here!'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"Isn't it obvious how he got the job? He 'suctioned' up."

Only Percy seemed happy that the Titanic was taking on water.

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

"She's sinking alright, Captain. Even the rats are wearing life jackets!"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

"There's nothing wrong with the ship. We just got a better offer."

'For heaven's sake; Mrs Van Rensselaer, let go!'

"I think Ted's keel's snapped off"

Hmmm

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."