Maritime Humor Lover Gifts

'They're sure not making Champagne bottles the way they used to.'

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

"Let's just agree that they're dolphins, not sharks. I don't want to fall out with you."

'My husband must be floating on his back - I can hear him snoring!'

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

Japanese Whaling

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

Victorian Royal Navy

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

'Thank goodness you're here!'

"Ah, sweatpants."

"Isn't it obvious how he got the job? He 'suctioned' up."

Only Percy seemed happy that the Titanic was taking on water.

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

"She's sinking alright, Captain. Even the rats are wearing life jackets!"

Flotsam and Jetson

The guardrail brings it up to code.

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"