Lovers Of Maritime Humor Gifts

"A plaster on yer knee, not much of a pirate, are we?"

"If I could direct your attention to starboard, one of the more popular sites on our excursion boat tour, a man who's been stranded on that desert island for over forty years."

Japanese Whaling

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

"Isn't it obvious how he got the job? He 'suctioned' up."

"Ah, sweatpants."

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

'Thank goodness you're here!'

Only Percy seemed happy that the Titanic was taking on water.

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

Flotsam and Jetson

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

"You've taken some creative liberties, Noah."

The guardrail brings it up to code.

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

'For heaven's sake; Mrs Van Rensselaer, let go!'

"I think Ted's keel's snapped off"