Maritime Humor Fans Gifts

'Do you have any other identification?'

Japanese Whaling

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

Victorian Royal Navy

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

'Thank goodness you're here!'

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

Only Percy seemed happy that the Titanic was taking on water.

"Ah, sweatpants."

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"Isn't it obvious how he got the job? He 'suctioned' up."

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

Flotsam and Jetson

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

The guardrail brings it up to code.

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

'For heaven's sake; Mrs Van Rensselaer, let go!'

"I think Ted's keel's snapped off"

'I just think it might be a bit too jolly for the captain's taste.'

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."